I think my hearing has gone bad

Fortunately for all of us our hearing must be at different levels.  I say this because when the commercials come on the sound increases in varying decibels.  It is a problem that everyone in the country complains about.  There is an interesting string of comments on Ask.metafilter.com.  They discuss the fact that it is not actually louder it just seems that way. 

This presents an interesting argument.  If the next time I get stopped for speeding, I’ll just tell the officer, “I wasn’t speeding, it just seemed that way to you.”  After all isn’t it a matter of interpretation. Let’s face it no matter how fast the officer may think I am going, if you place me next to the space shuttle, I’m standing still. 

This reminds me of time when my mate and I were traveling through Delaware.  My mate looked up into the sky and said, “Wow look how fast those birds are going.”  I looked for a moment and saw two of something moving across the sky.  After looking closely, I said, “Those aren’t birds they’re jets.”  She looked back up and almost drove off the road as we both laughed our heads off.  At that point in time she just perceived they were fast birds. 

We have one of the fancy remote controls that allow us to preset how long you want to keep the TV on so you can go to sleep. The problem is that no matter how long I set it for, the television wakes me up with a commercial.

The loudest of these ‘perceptions’ is when a commercial comes on for DirecTV.  We have DirecTV so we know firsthand how it works.  After months of this blasting my ear off I decided to call them.  The conversation went something like this. 

Me, “I’m calling to complain about the change in sound from the shows to commercials and the fact that commercials for DirecTV are louder than any other commercials.”

Operator, “Mam (I guess I sound like a woman over the phone because almost everyone calls me mam) we have no control over the sound.  They send the commercials to us and they have them louder. 

Me, “I’m not talking about the regular commercials I am talking about the ones from DirecTV.  Whenever a commercial comes on to promote DirecTV it is almost twice as loud as the show.”

Operator, “Mam, we can’t control that it is how it is sent to us.”

Me, “You’re trying to tell me that you send your own commercials out to be broadcast over your own satellite network?”

Operator, “Yes, Mam.”

Me, “Does it even make sense to you that they would send commercials promoting themselves out to someone else just so they can transmit over their own system.”

Operator, loooooong pause – “All commercials are done that way.”

Me, “I’m talking about the commercials that are about DirecTV not all the other commercials.  If what you say is true then shouldn’t they all be the same as far as the increase in the sound?”

Operator, “Well, we can’t control the sound increase.”

Me, “Thanks for your time.”

Operator, “I have answered all your questions satisfactory?”

Me, “Not even close, but I guess you don’t have a response guide for my question so you don’t know what to say.”