My father is more a part of me than I realize

It was a surprise to me last Thursday when I realized I forgot Father’s Day.  I would like to say it had a lot to do with me seeing a doctor in Durham, so my mind was not where it should have been.  This would just be an easy excuse for a day of recognition that I often forget until the last minute. 

One thing about father’s day is that it does not get the same continual exposure that Mother’s Day does.  The exposure for mothers helps me to remember the day. All you see on television prior to Mother’s Day are commercials about remembering your mother.  Father’s Day gets some exposure, but I am not beat to death with it during every commercial. 

Let’s face it, Father’s Day has never gotten the recognition that Mother’s Day has.  Although, Google research reveals that the recognition of Father’s Day can be traced back 4,000 years.  At that time a young boy called Elmesu carved a Father’s Day message on a piece of clay. 

In comparison, the first recognition of Mother’s Day was the Mother’s Day celebrations that can be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honor of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods.

In America Mother’s Day official proclamation came in 1914 when President Woodrow Wilson made the first official announcement proclaiming Mother’s Day as a national holiday that was to be held each year on the 2nd Sunday of May.

It was two years later before Wilson approved the idea of Father’s day.  In 1926 a national Father’s Day committee was formed.  It took 30 more years before a Joint Resolution of Congress gave recognition to Father’s Day. Although it had been celebrated for many years, President Richard Nixon actually established Father’s Day as a permanent national observance in 1972.

Fathers seem to have always been in the background of recognition.  It is not very often when an athlete or media star mouths the words, “Hi dad.”  But it is common for them to say “Hi mom!”

I have been guilty of that myself.  When my son was young and started to buy his own gifts he came to me and said he wanted to buy a certain gift for his mother but it would take all of his money.  I told him to always take care of his mother first.

In my mother’s day column I talked about how my mother just moved on from this earth. I mentioned that I think about her every day.  I talked about the gifts my mother gave me that helped form my personality traits.

Sadly I do not think of my father every day, but none-the-less he is with me every day.  My father passed his name onto me and a little wisdom.  We had very few father and son one on one situations.  It is byproduct of having so many brothers and sisters.  The one time we did have a one-on-one situation was when he told me about the facts of life.  I came away from that conversation with the exhortation that I should never touch a girl until I was ready to marry her, and not much more.   

My father did pass many of his talents on to me.  It was done in such a way that most of the time I didn’t realize it was happening.  Now when I look back I realize I could never have solved all the fix-it or make-it problems around the house or in my professional life without all the knowledge he passed on to me.  I do not ever remember him being stumped on how to fix or make something.  I thank him for those same talents.

He was a master at looking at a situation and figuring out how to fix something or make something.  When he passed away, his old on the job tool box had several tools he made for specific jobs he did around the Ford Motor Company where he worked. 

The two most important things I think about regarding my father was his love for my mother and maintaining a marriage for over 50 plus years.  As a tribute to him and a reminder to me I still wear his wedding ring my mother gave to me after his death. 

The other gift my father gave me was the understanding that I was to be the provider.  That I should work hard for any employer no matter how I felt about the job.  He believed that if you agreed to a specific amount of money to do a job you did that job to the best of your ability regardless of what anyone else may have made for doing the same job. 

He also showed me by his actions how to keep it all together through any emergency.  He was the man you wanted to lead when the dam broke or the car brakes wouldn’t work.  He was mister together, calm and cool in the worst of situations.    

Maybe this is why I always feel so guilty that I am disabled.  I cannot do the things I could and it drives me crazy.  But just like my father showed me how to persevere through anything, I know I will, too.  He meant more to me than I gave him credit for, but at least now I realize that he always did the best he could for me and our family and that alone is a legacy anyone should be proud of.