Let's get some laws that can make life better

First of all they should pass a law that if a food product is shown on television or on the menu then, when they serve that product it should look the same. When they promote hamburgers stacked high with lettuce, fresh tomato and thick onion on a fresh bun and show it looking perfect – then that’s how they have to serve it. When they show a dinner of lasagna shown nice and neat in a perfect square then it should look that way when they serve it. 

I’m tired of looking at a Burger King Whopper or the Hardees Six Dollar burger on TV or in the restaurant window sign. They all look like they stand about six inches high. The bun looks fresh and is twice the size of the burger. The lettuce over flows the burger, the tomato looks like it just came off the vine and it is as thick as the burger, then the onion looks like it’s a nice large slice of onion and also as thick as the hamburger.

Then there is reality. They must have a machine in the restaurant that presses everything together right before they wrap it up. That must be the case because by the time I get ready to eat it the entire sandwich doesn’t look much thicker than the burger. The thick fresh tomato is ten days old just shy of being tomato paste and so thin you could put it into a coin changer (not recommended). The nice thick slice of onion is thin and is generally only a couple of the rings, not an entire slice. I ask for extra onions and still don’t get the equivalent to a complete slice of onion.

To top it all off some genius decided that all the condiments and extras should go under the burger, not on top of it. This is almost Un-American. I mean what hamburger connoisseur wants to bite into a hamburger and not have the taste of all the good stuff, before the roof of their mouth hits the burger. I have to turn the burger upside down to eat it the way they serve them these days. If they are going to continue to do this they should at least use flat buns so you can’t tell which is the top and which is the bottom. Then regardless of how you like it, it would be appropriate. 

I don’t even want to get into the idiots who throw the burger together. They slap the burger on the bun landing like a jet that overran the runway.  A third of burger is sticking out over the bun, then they put the condiments in a glob on the right side of the burger. The coup-de-grace is when they place the undersized lettuce, tomato and onions on the burger.  They are arranged like the Olympic rings just enough overlap so you can taste them, but not enough so you can taste all of them together.   When you go to eat it, it has become what is commonly called a big mess.

Then they need to pass a law that declares a uniform size cup for drinks sold at fast food places. You never know if a small is a thimble full or sixteen ounces. Every fast food restaurant has its own idea of what size a small, medium, large or extra large should be. They should also pass a law to make sure you get specific amount of drink for each size. Buying an extra large coke to find out it has only about 12 ounces of coke in it should be illegal.

The next law they need to pass is the dime reference law. I’m tired of looking at a product and it looks as tall as the empire state building, then when I purchase it is like it came from a doll house. The law would make them put a dime in every ad so you can use it as a comparison. The law would give the buyer a rough idea of the final size of the product.  A hand tool will actually fill the entire hand and not be as small as a finger.  An easy looking garden tool that shows a person standing and using it, will be revealed as only tall enough for a third grader to use.  Of course they will change the angle of the shot so the dime looks as tall as the empire state building, but at least we will have a reference point.

They should also pass a law that no cosmetic product can be demonstrated on a model that they have digitally enhanced.  I am always amazed at how they can take a kid with enough zits to look like the surface of mars and with only a few treatments look as smooth as a baby’s skin.  This could be called the no Photoshop law. 

Finally any weight loss picture should be shown until after the person has been off the diet for at least six months.  They should have to reveal in the audio that to lose the amount of the weight the product promises you must work out 24 hours a day and eat only 12 ounces of food a day.  They should also have to give the time frame it took to lose the weight.

I love the before and after pictures.  They not only show the difference in weight loss they also reveal that their skin has become perfect after they lost the weight.  Good luck with that after weight loss.

At least these laws will show the legislature is doing something I can see and not just arguing over something I have no control over and will never see.  They tell you they are working on a $10 billion tax cut.  What they neglect to tell you is that it is over ten year period and most of the money will go to specific groups, and not the one I’m in.