Mothers never die - they just move on

It is time once again to pay special tribute to our mothers.  For me, it has always been a special day because my mother is a very special person. 

When my mother moved on to heaven in 2001 I couldn’t imagine life without her.  She was the one I called anytime and we talked about anything. I have lived away from the Detroit area most of my life so I called home frequently.   I still fondly remember those calls.  If my dad answered the phone he would say, “hellllo,” stretching out the first part.  I would say, “Hi dad.”  He would immediately say, “Hold on I’ll get your mother.”  It would be just that fast no pause, no incidental conversation.

Then mom would get on the line.  It made no difference what I called about; the weather was always part of the conversation.  When I called from Hawaii the first time I was stationed away from home I wonder if she thought I was just trying to impress her.  Unlike conversations from most areas Hawaii has good stable weather so I would tell her how nice it was.   I wonder if she ever felt I was just trying to brag, especially during the long cold winter months, she never said anything to me. 

My mother could always tell from my voice if I was doing good or having problems.  We would talk about them.  She was always a good balance provider.  She did her best to never let me get too depressed, and she loved it when I shared the good times.  To this day I still say. “I’ll call mom.”

My mother gave me many gifts when she was here.  As the modern day commercial says, most of them were priceless.  All of them had a purpose.  The greatest gift she gave me was my humor.  She passed it on to all of her kids some of us are better at using it than others, but we all understand it.  My younger brother is by far the funniest one in the family.  To listen to him and her trade quips was fun.

She did her best to raise myself and my siblings to become the best people we could be. She taught me to see the good in people and not talk badly about them.  When she talked badly about someone she would remind herself that she should not do it. 

She is the reason I now drive my wife crazy.  I have a habit of always defending people.  No matter how upset she gets at me, I always defend them.  If she gets upset with her kids or mine, I always defend them.  I do my best to always find the good in everyone. I know that she hopes someday I would just not do it. 

My mother is on my mind every day for one reason or another.  I give her credit for almost anything, whether she deserves it or not.  If I am talking to someone and I say yep or nop, instead of yes or no, I immediately say, “Don’t tell my mother I said that.”  She also gets mentioned whenever I use slang.

When I was writing this article in my head, I realized that my mother may have moved on but she is still very much a part of me every day.  She has never died, because she lives on in so many ways. She had one of the best minds I have ever known.  She was smart, quick and witty.  She, like myself, loves a good joke even if it was on her.

I recall one holiday, I’m not sure which one, but I think it was my folk’s anniversary.  Anyway, one of my sisters was at a yard sale and found a box of greeting cards all the same.  So she proceeded to mail a card to each of us.  When the cards started to arrive at my mother’s house, she commented on how the card from sister in Ohio was just like the one she received from my brother who lived just miles from my mom.  She commented how unusual it was that two of her kids living states apart would buy the same card. 

At some point, as she got more and more of the same card, it came to her that someone was pulling a joke on her.  She loved it. 

My mother is one of the few people I know that accomplished what she wanted to with her life.  She wanted to have a family and raise her kids, she did that with more dedication than I thought was possible. She never missed a birthday or anniversary and always sent a card.  She accepted all the step children as if they were blood children.

My nieces and nephews all felt she was the best grandmother. They loved her stories about her and Ben Franklin; they even believed them when they were younger. 

This Sunday I will once again spend time watching her in the movies of my mind.