Tired of holiday traffic?
Stay home, so I can drive

There we were driving up to Maryland to visit our grandkids for Thanksgiving. We left, as planned, after the paper was put to bed on Tuesday night. We stopped by to get a couple of subs to eat later at the motel and then headed to I-95 and north to Virginia. 

It was long after we got on the road that I noticed an SUV with a DVD player in the back seat and someone watching it. My first thought was what a way to travel. 

As the cars passed by I noticed more and more of them had DVD’s and more and more of them had what I assume were Ipods with the earphones around their heads.

It was then I realized that we have an entire generation of mothers and fathers that are totally untrained on how to stay focused while driving. The entire car looked calm, cool and collected. That is a breeding ground for lack of focus training.

I thought back to all the focus training my son gave me when we would travel. Each trip would start the same way, he had some hand held games to play or books to read. It wouldn’t be long before he was bored with those wonderful child amusement items.  Then he would start asking all kinds of questions. The heavier the traffic the more questions he would ask.

But I persevered. I maintained my focus on the driving and found a way to quiet him down or give him a foolish answer.  When he would ask what the sign meant when it said watch for falling rock, I gave him the same answer my mother gave to me.  Falling rock is an Indian name and we have too look out for Indians.

When he would ask why they had signs for deer crossing, I would once again fall back on my mother’s answer – the deer know the sign is there and they cross at that point, much like you do in a school crossing. Throughout all of this I maintained my focus on driving.  

I can honestly say after years of traveling with my son I have become the most focused driver you can imagine. I feel sorry for today’s drivers, they will not have this necessary training for focusing. I say necessary training because if you have traveled the roads lately and had to drive on any interstate highway in or around a large city you know that staying focused is necessary to handle those situations. 

Even though today’s drivers feel that keeping the kids busy and quiet is good, all those DVD’s and Ipods are really not as good as they may think. Without them they would get their focus training. 

Another problem I had with the trip this year is bathroom etiquette. As you all know by now I have to make frequent stops when I travel. This time I had to consider what I do with my feet when I am using the facilities. Up until a couple of months ago I was never aware that the placement and movement of my feet meant anything.

Now I know that everything you do can become a problem. Fortunately for me I have to use the handicap facilities, so I have plenty of room for my feet. As luck would have it at one stop the handicap facility was not available and I was forced to use a standard facility.

Then my non-stop mind took over. Where do I place my feet.  Does my shoe pointing to the right mean something different than my shoe pointing straight forward? I’m a big man so there is virtually no way my shoes will not be at least at the imaginary line between two stalls. I have never been arrested and I didn’t want it to happen just because I had to use the facilities. 

Mother Nature made sure I had to use the facilities, but fortunately no one else was using them at the time, so I worried about something that never materialized.

It wasn’t long before we were faced with our first construction traffic jam. Traffic jams have always been a problem for me. I am one of those people who believe that supervisors in the transportation department receive their promotions by how well they mess up traffic during construction. 

The bigger problem with traffic jams is that they can change a driver from Mother Theresa to Genghis Khan. In order to limit these situations I have come up with a solution. The key to less traffic jams is less traffic. 

I have traveled I-95 for years and have noticed one thing every holiday. It seems millions of people leave the Northern Virginia/Washington D.C., area heading either north or south.  At the same time thousands of people from southern Virginia and North Carolina head north.

A lot of these people are headed to celebrate the holidays with friends and relatives. I propose that those people who are heading in either direction to visit friends and celebrate with them start a friends substituting for friends for the holidays group. 

It would go something like this. Using Littleton/Lake Gaston as an example a Website would be started where friends could register. The group from our area would then invite other members of the group to their house for the holidays so they do not have to travel to visit other friends. 

Wherever these gatherings are held they would have all the latest cyber technology to allow friends from Littleton/Lake Gaston area to see and talk to their friends from the Northern Virginia/Washington D.C., area and visa versa. 

This would accomplish all aspects of why we visit friends at the holiday time. First is so we don’t have to celebrate a holiday alone. Second is so we can see and talk with our friends. Third, and what may be the most important one, is we will be able to enjoy a home cooked meal with others. 

By creating friends substituting for friends chapters we could probably eliminate about 25 percent of the traffic on I-95. And all of this would mean that my wife and I could get to our destination faster and happier. You see we go north to visit family not friends, the new chapters would only be for friends and so we wouldn’t qualify. 

The end results would be good for everyone. Those who join friends substituting for friends would not have to go through the stress of packing, planning and preparing for a trip. 

The people who do have to be on the road would find less traffic. Less traffic would mean less traffic jams. Less traffic jams would mean less stress. Less stress would mean a more enjoyable holiday. Everybody wins. Most importantly, at least for me, is that my travel time can be spent relaxing instead of trying to guide my wife through traffic. 

p.s. - I would hope you all can start this program this week just in case we decided to travel north for the Christmas Holidays. 

Maurice Emery is the Editor Emeritus of The Littleton Observer. littletonobserver.com