We got to Wal-Mart and as soon as I walked into the door I saw the tire that I wanted. While I asked the clerk if they had the tire and how much they cost, my wife started to look around. She then came back and casually let met know they had a lot of other tires on the shelf.

After a typically husband and wife conversation that is generally a very few words that have different meanings instead of straight talk, I figured she was concerned that I decided on the first tire I saw. As luck would have it they did not have the one that drew my attention. Nor did they have my second choice, but they did have the tires my wife had mentioned.

At that point the clerk started talking to me about the additional charges. I was surprised to learn that you barely get the tire for the advertised price. She told me I had to pay extra for valve stems. I asked, “You mean that doesn’t come with the tire?”

“No,” she replied.

She then asked if I wanted the tires balanced. Once again I asked, “You mean that doesn’t come with the tire?”

“No,” she replied.

She then asked if I wanted road hazard insurance. By then I knew enough not to question whether or not it came with the tire.

It made no difference what I might have wanted to say; before I could answer she went into what I would be paying for. It boiled down to no matter what happened to the tire, the so called road hazard did not actually mean they would come out to whatever road we were on to take care of the problem. What it did include was that if there was a problem with the tire we could bring it into any Wal-Mart to have it fixed.

I asked if they would replace the tire, she said yes, but it would be prorated according to how much tread was left. I declined the insurance.

I then asked what kind of warranty came with the tires. She said none, unless we bought the road hazard insurance. At that time I asked if the rubber tread came with tire or did we have to pay extra for it.
The next additional charge was for the disposal of the old tires. At least this charge made some sense and wasn’t out of line.

All in all the tires that I thought I was getting such a good price on, were going to cost me $21.00 per tire more just to get what came with the tires that the last time I had to buy some.

On the way home it occurred to me that maybe this was just the start of how they will do business in the future. Five years from now can we expect to go into a restaurant and find several extra charges? The price on the entrees will be the starting point. Even now restaurants are charging extra for items like potatoes and vegetables that are not the vegetable of the day.

Will they be charging extra for a fork, extra for a knife and extra for a spoon? Napkins could definitely be on the extra charge list.

I would love to be the proverbial fly on the wall when a waitress or waiter says to the customer, “Would you like a fork with your meal?”

The customer would probably say, “How else do you expect me to eat it?”

Then they will be asked, “Would you like a knife with your meal?”

The customer might reply, “If I don’t have a knife I’ll just have to pick this steak up with my hands to eat it.”

Of course we all know that for most meals a spoon is not needed. Even if you have soup you can drink it and slurp it all down. If enough people are slurping their soup at the same time restaurants will sound like a band that is out of tune.

To this day most guys don’t understand what you need a napkin for. You can wipe your hands and face on your trousers or shirt sleeve. So we would have never have to pay an extra charge

This entire extra charge scenario could continue in church. On communion Sunday they could charge an extra fee for the communion wafer and another one for the wine. I can just see it now on communion Sunday when you go into church you will see two vending machines at the side of the alter ready to be used.

There are all types of situations where they can charge you extra for what used to be understood as the complete price. Tires are probably just the beginning of it all.

Ten years from now when you walk into church and see two vending machines at the side of the alter, just keep in mind that you read it first here in 2007.

Maurice Emery is editor emeritus of The Littleton Observer. His column, A Thought or Two, is published here each week, and he insists we not charge readers extra for the ink or the paper that make up the newspaper.

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